an honest question

[coyotegoth]

An odd question about Steak and Blowjob Day (and its sister, Cake- not Chocolate- and Cunnilingus Day): I've seen a great many people posting/commenting over the last couple of years with words to the effect of, "Well, of course- men want to have meat, whereas women only like sweet dessert foods." My question: why are people assuming that the person receiving the sexual favor are the one for whom the attendant food is being bought? Assuming that I were so sex-negative as to only want to receive/perform oral sex on one specific day of the year (and that the purchase of food had to enter into it), I'd certainly buy my partner- of whatever hypothetical gender- the meal/dessert of their choice (in which case, assuming I'm dating a woman, wouldn't I be buying her steak, and wouldn't she be buying me cake?)

(The entirely valid discussion of why people always assume that this is a heterosexually-oriented holiday is one for another post; yeah, straights still engage in 90+ percent of this sort of PDA-themed tomfoolery.)

Comments

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

We are delaying our observance of S&BJD so that I can have some steak too[1].

And all my partners like cake more than I do. A good key lime pie on the other hand...

[1]Not that anybody besides me has to go without steak or blowjobs in the meantime. Just that we aren't having it for S&BJD.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Utterly random and off-topic:

1) A while back, I happened to be looking through your interest list, and saw "alcoholic clown movies"

2) After a surprising amount of hassle, I just got a DVD of Shakes the Clown.

3) I used to work at a circus. That movie is a friggin' documentary.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

A classic of the genre...

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Makes a great double bill with Killer Klowns From Outer Space!

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I generally dislike clown anythings, but Shakes is pretty fuckin' awesome.

Equally random: recently found pictures of praying mantis we found in Reston.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Oooh! Could you please send piccies my way?

[lynati-1.livejournal.com]

Not really answering your question, but, I've seen it as Lobster, not cake, which given the nature and cost of the foods in question makes more sense.

Really, I think the holiday is all about spoiling your significant other(s) in a more direct, less frilly way than Valentines Day, from the posts I have seen on it.

Makes me wonder how long until the Surf N'Turf holiday shows up...but then, that may be what 40% of the population considers date night...

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

The bisexuals have had a claim on Surf-n-turf for some time now.

[lazy-neutrino.livejournal.com]

When is "Get up early, go to work, come back knackered, barely speak to one's other half and fall asleep in front of the TV day"? 'Cos we've been practising for that one a lot!

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

The vague impression I have of these things, as I squint from my position in Babylon back into Ordinary People World, is that:

a) these people assume that Valentine's Day is mostly about men being nice to women in ways that the men do not usually enjoy doing (e.g. being traditionally romantic, buying flowers and chocolates and possibly a foofy ghey French dinner, going on a date to do something she likes and he hates etc). (The lingerie industry would seem to belie this one, unless I am confused and that sort of woman does not regard lingerie as "a gift for both members of the relationship" or even a self-serving gift.)

b) therefore, Steak and Blowjob Day is supposed to be the day in which the women return the favor for all the attention they got on Valentine's Day, by giving the men things they want, e.g. a big non-froofy steak, not having to wear a tie for said steak, him-centered sex, and so on. (These are obviously hideously stereotyped men and women.)

Personally, I tend to do White Day, the Japanese version: on March 14, their candy industry declared it to be White Day, on which (since the women all got darker chocolate on Valentine's day) the women get their lovers (and anyone else they feel obligated to gift) white chocolate or non-chocolate candies. This also means there is one day a year in which it is socially acceptable for Japanese men to eat candy. (Apparently it's unmanly or something. Srsly, they invented an ice cream sandwich that looked like a hamburger so men could eat it in public. WTF.)

But since my sweetie likes white chocolate (ick), this works for us.

Except that in recent years we've said "Screw Valentine's Day, why compete with everyone else in town for a nice restaurant, let's stay home and go out the week before or after if we feel like it".

As for the queer folks, I think

a) we have Pride and leather festivals for sex holidays
b) we don't need no stupid Valentine's anyway (caveat for the folks who got married on Valentine's weekend at SF City Hall in the few days when it was legal).

Although as per below, there's something to be said for declaring International Bisexual Day to be Surf'n'turf Special Day.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

That makes sense.

(I'm a chocolate centrist myself: never much into dark, and white tastes like sweetened condensed milk to me. No, thankee.)

[stakebait.livejournal.com]

As far as I'm aware, the origin of Steak and a Blowjob Day was a complaint that Valentine's Day was too centered on the (perceived) needs and desires of women, and therefore, for enduring it, their male partners should be given equal time with Steak and a Blow Job a month later, that being what they really wanted. So the idea that both the food and the oral sex were for the same recipient was built into the origin story. (Also why it's assumed to be straight -- in this worldview, every day would be steak and a blowjob day for gay men).

Anyway in practice wouldn't you both get some of the food, whoever provided or selected it? I almost never sit and eat steak, or cake for that matter, in front of someone who is just watching me do so. Especially not if I expect nookie thereafter.

I have never heard of Cake and Cunnilingus Day until this post.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I *think* the issue is who buys, not who eats.