it's always hard to say goodbye

[coyotegoth]

This began as a comment in ladybug007's journal; by the time I was finished, I realized it was an entry on its own.

Having been through this myself not so very long ago, I'm not certain I can completely agree with the first part of your entry. If you have allowed an animal into your life as friend and companion, then being there for the m at the end- when illness or injury makes said end unavailable- seems, to me, to be the ultimate extension of that friendship and compassion. You're making sure that you're the last thing your pet sees, and personally ensuring that their death is as quic k and painless as possible (say what you will about getting shot with a .357, it's an extremely quick death for an animal which, as you say, was old and suffering.

Now, please note:

a) I am NOT referring to the sort of fucker who, say, puts a pet to sleep because he's moving and doesn't want to deal with the hassle of finding a home for it. I'm talking about responsible euthanasia for a suffering friend, not exterminating a pet as though it was a pest.

b) There are people who get so wrecked by t h e death of a friend, even an animal one, that they simply can't function in this case (which is wholly understandable, and speaks well of your closeness with your pet). In that case, it's definitely best to take it to a vet- you'll be too upset to end y our friend's suffering appropriately, and your pet shouldn't see your sobbing, suffering face as its last memory.

c) Hunting is a whole different kettle of fish (granted that there are areas where, say, the deer's natural predators have been exterminated, and if the population wasn't regulated, the deer would simply deforest the area until they began to starve). I place recreational hunting- which often leaves the animal wounded, in pain, and slowly bleeding to death- in the same category as, say, bullfi ghting- it's simply a shitty, shitty thing to do.)

It hurts every time you have to say goodbye. There's no reason- and no excuse- for creating that pain unnecessarily.



To a degree, I understand your point. I'm not saying that dragging an animal out back and shooting it is automatically the response to infirmity or illness on its part- in the previous entry of mine to which I linked, I made it quite clear that the cat- Midnight- was euthanised in an animal hospital, with veterinarians present, supervising the action.

In ladybug007's post, no context was supplied for the situation- we aren't told whether the father lived in a rural situation, or was too poor to afford veterinary care (both not likely, but not impossible). There are extenuating circumstances such as these in which proper medical supervision is difficul t, if not impossible; in such cases- and only in such cases- gunfire is among the quickest, most painless options such a pwerson is likely to have available (although you're correct in saying that it's easy to misaim a gun, and I am certainly not advocat ing such an action). It's entirely possible that as someone who did once put a pet to sleep (as the linked entry discusses), I was reacting to that portion of ladybug007's entry, rather than fully addressing the specific case she cites.

As to putting Mid night to sleep myself- that's an essay topic in and of itself. Suffice to note that I did not make that choice easily or lightly, that I was distraught afterward (as the next few posts make clear), and that I didn't consider putting Midnight to sleep to b e "killing", as most people use the term. It was an attempt on my part to be as close as possible to a loved one in the moment of their passing, and to make their passing as smooth and untroubled as possible, by ensuring that the last thing they saw was a loved one's face. It's quite possible that you and I have different feelings on this particular choice- but I assure you, I didn't depress the plunger of that syringe lightly or callously. Midnight was- is- a friend, and what I did, I did out of the responsibilities of friendship, as I perceived them..

Comments

[platypus]

Maybe vet-administered euthanasia is just a nicety for the human involved, but I think a kind and painless death is better administered by anaesthetic drugs than by a gun, and I'd be far more comfortable accompanying my cats to the vet's for one last trip than shooting them myself. I would rather have her sedated into unconsciousness than be splattered into pieces, no matter how quick that death might be. Death by shooting or neck-breaking or crushing or anything else you can think of for home use... there's always the possibility of missing, just a little, just enough to cause terrible suffering. I could not look my cat in the face and kill her myself.

And, frankly, I'd be pretty creeped out by anyone who could, except in dire extremity. Maybe if you live out on a farm and slaughter your own livestock and never take your barn cats to a vet you could shoot one without qualms, but if we are indeed talking about an animal taken into one's home as a friend and companion... unless we're stuck in a remote island in the middle of nowhere and my friend is bleeding and begging to die, I'm not going to be the one to kill her.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

To a degree, I understand your point. I'm not saying that dragging an animal out back and shooting it is automatically the response to infirmity or illness on its part- in the previous entry of mine to which I linked, I made it quite clear that the cat- Midnight- was euthanised in an animal hospital, with veterinarians present, supervising the action.

In ladybug007's post, no context was supplied for the situation- we aren't told whether the father lived in a rural situation, or was too poor to afford veterinary care (both not likely, but not impossible). There are extenuating circumstances such as these in which proper medical supervision is difficult, if not impossible; in such cases- and only in such cases- gunfire is among the quickest, most painless options such a pwerson is likely to have available (although you're correct in saying that it's easy to misaim a gun, and I am certainly not advocating such an action). It's entirely possible that as someone who did once put a pet to sleep (as the linked entry discusses), I was reacting to that portion of ladybug007's entry, rather than fully addressing the specific case she cites.

As to putting Midnight to sleep myself- that's an essay topic in and of itself. Suffice to note that I did not make that choice easily or lightly, that I was distraught afterward (as the next few posts make clear), and that I didn't consider putting Midnight to sleep to be "killing", as most people use the term. It was an attempt on my part to be as close as possible to a loved one in the moment of their passing, and to make their passing as smooth and untroubled as possible, by ensuring that the last thing they saw was a loved one's face. It's quite possible that you and I have different feelings on this particular choice- but I assure you, I didn't depress the plunger of that syringe lightly or callously. Midnight was- is- a friend, and what I did, I did out of the responsibilities of friendship, as I perceived them..

[platypus]

I'm not at all anti-euthanasia; I'm just having some bad reactions to the other journaler's story you linked to. My gut feeling, when it comes to doing it with a gun myself, is that in that case it would feel like 'killing,' even done in mercy. Intellectually I know that, done with a steady hand, it would be quick and painless, and perhaps even less stressful than a vet visit, but I just can't handle the idea. It's not euthanasia itself, it's the, well, violence of most 'home methods' that I'm hung up on. When I recoiled from the idea of doing it myself, that's what I was talking about.

With vet-supervised euthanasia, I know the end result is the same, but it's not violent. I have absolutely no negative feeling about what you did, and I'm kind of horrified that I came off that way. I know that's a very hard decision to make and there is absolutely a time when it's the right one. I wasn't reading your journal at that time, so I didn't know about most of this, but please know that I have nothing but support and empathy for you in that situation, and I hope when it comes time with my cats I am half so brave.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Hey, it's quite all right- any misunderstanding which might have briefly arisen, came from my (admittedly biased) reading of the original post, and reacting solely to the part of it ("I couldn't kill a pet myself") that leapt out at me, rather than the rest of the substance of the post (shooting the cat, a questionable act, to be sure). (Which is to say, it was the same as 90% of the reactions to posts with any emotionally sensitive content on LJ.) So far as that goes, I don't think anyone could know what they'll do in such a situation, until they're in the middle of it. At any rate, I appreciate your clarification of your reaction- and you certainly have nothing to be horrified (to use your word) about.

[ladybug007.livejournal.com]

I have put to sleep a few pets. It wasn't me administering the dose,and it wasn't violent. I did have to snap a rabbits neck once, and I see that as being less violent thana gun, which is so cold and detached.

[ladybug007.livejournal.com]

"My gut feeling, when it comes to doing it with a gun myself, is that in that case it would feel like 'killing,' even done in mercy."

Exactly. I was trying to focus more also on a person who seemed to ahve no qualms with walking in, picking up a 357 Magnum, and plastering said cat all over the front porch.

A few points.

1) They lived within 10 minutes of a vet.
2) They owned 22's, a much cleaner way to end a life.

My point was just how weird I think it is to choose to end your pets life yourself. I have had to break a rabbits neck myself, when I hit one in the middle of the desert in the middle of the ight, and it was twitching, and bleeding form the mouth. I couldn't watch it suffer, so I covered it with a towel, and snapped it's head up quickly. I screamed and cried all the way home, and still have nightmares over it.
I guarantee you that the guy in my post, rationalized that it was what ahd to be done......Much as people will rationalize other forms of violent death.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Yes; it's never easy- nor should it be- to decide to end a life. I once had to snap a bird's neck after it had been mauled by a cat (this was in the middle of the night, in an isolated area)- and like you, I still think about it at times. I can't speak to the choices that a man I've never met made concerning his method of ending the pain of an infirm animal (the one salient virtue of a .357 over a .22 would be that it's a much surer means of instant death; as [Unknown site tag] pointed out, the last thing you want to do is leave the animal in pain, even for an instant)- for my own part, choosing to end Midnight's pain myself was simply an extension of what I perceived as the responsibilities of friendship. Somehow, I couldn't leave him in a stranger's hands at that final moment.

And, yes- it was excruciating.

[jenfuhh.livejournal.com]

I agree, I'd rather see my pet go to sleep gently, then see her brains splattered all over. Even so, I hope to God that she just goes on her own natrually (w/ out being horribly sick etc). Im so attached to her, I'd probably have a hard time making the decision. I shiver to think of it, even know I know that sooner (hopefully MUCH later) it will come to that.

jen

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I'm hoping it's much, much later myself, hun. It's never an easy situation to find yourself in.y