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more bullshit with Z
Aug. 17th, 2011 03:25 pmEver since I've lived at my current apartment, there's been static between Z and B, another apartment mate of mine. It takes on many forms: Z tends to be a selfish, petulant child when denied something; B can be extremely argumentative- but one of the main bones on contention has been the interactions between Tommi, Z's cat (a cat I love dearly), and B's various cats. Z has always resented the fact that B's cats hiss at Tommi when she enters the main room of the apartment, and complains about it unceasingly. Just lately, he's taken to leaving the apartment door open when his cat follows him in there... and then leaving it open once she leaves. This creates two problems: 1) APARTMENT DOOR IS OPEN. (It doesn't open onto the street, just to the building's hallway, but STILL.) 2) B's cats get the idea that it's OK to go wandering (they're not the sort of cats who will automatically come back home). We've had several increasingly heated arguments about this- the occasion where I threatened to punch him in the face (and I'm not usually violent, or given to extreme fits of anger) was simply the worst of the bunch.
At any rate... I come home, and the apartment door is open. Z isn't home; B is in Europe; I curse Z, and close the door. About half an hour later, our other apartment mate J knocks on my door, and tells me that she can't find Shyness, one of B's cats. We start looking; in the middle of this; Z comes home. I pointedly tell him that THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE DOOR IS LEFT OPEN. This degenerates into an argument; Z, a tall person much given to yelling temper tantrums when confronted, is soon looming in my face. This doesn't intimidate me; rather, it angers me to the point that I'm screaming back at him. It gets to the point where Z storms into this room- and I start smashing my fists against his door, hard enough to make me center panel visibly tremble in its frame (and severely bruise my hand). J finally gets me away from there (Z, wisely, is holding his door shut against me) by pointing out that 1) someone's going to call the cops soon, and 2) she's found Shyness. After much patient work on J's part, Shyness is lured back into the apartment, as I ice my hand.
I don't know; I'm a difficult person myself, and I try to put up with a lot of shit from people, but I have fucking HAD it with him. Although he can be extremely personally generous (and has spent a great deal of time and money fighting to keep Tommi alive from the cancer she's fighting), his selfish refusal to simply close a fucking door... GAAH.
(A brief digression: Z has been associated with the SCA in NYC for about 15 years now; he's wanted to become a knight, although his fighting skills (to a small degree) and the trepidation of the other knights of the NYC group (to a much grater degree) have prevented this. (His SCA name is "(name) the Optimistic"- a stroke of cruel brilliance on someone's part.) Long story short, when I decided fuck it, I AM going to Pennsic this year, Z very generously lent me camping gear and garb... and then blithely assured me that no, camping with Ostgardr wouldn't be a problem at all. In a brief moment of foolish optimism, I took him at his word... only to see the tent master at Ostgardr's campsite literally facepalm as I told him this (Z the Optimistic, indeed). Happily, it worked out; by the end of my brief stay, the tent master had made a specific point of repeatedly inviting me both to join the SCA, and to camp with Ostgardr next year. In all honesty, I could almost certainly become a knight fairly quickly- quicker than Z, certainly- and while I don't quite want to pout salt in his wounds in such a fashion, he does make it tempting sometimes.)
I tend to detest pettiness and malice in others, and to try to avoid them in myself; Z's selfishly endangering B's cats in such a fashion is pushing the anger buttons with me much more than I am comfortable with. I've already written and deleted several versions of an email in which I point this out, along with the simple fact that leaving out apartment door open is simply NOT A GOOD IDEA. Beyond that... it's really hard, living with someone for whom I am coming to feel such feeling of contempt.
At any rate... I come home, and the apartment door is open. Z isn't home; B is in Europe; I curse Z, and close the door. About half an hour later, our other apartment mate J knocks on my door, and tells me that she can't find Shyness, one of B's cats. We start looking; in the middle of this; Z comes home. I pointedly tell him that THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE DOOR IS LEFT OPEN. This degenerates into an argument; Z, a tall person much given to yelling temper tantrums when confronted, is soon looming in my face. This doesn't intimidate me; rather, it angers me to the point that I'm screaming back at him. It gets to the point where Z storms into this room- and I start smashing my fists against his door, hard enough to make me center panel visibly tremble in its frame (and severely bruise my hand). J finally gets me away from there (Z, wisely, is holding his door shut against me) by pointing out that 1) someone's going to call the cops soon, and 2) she's found Shyness. After much patient work on J's part, Shyness is lured back into the apartment, as I ice my hand.
I don't know; I'm a difficult person myself, and I try to put up with a lot of shit from people, but I have fucking HAD it with him. Although he can be extremely personally generous (and has spent a great deal of time and money fighting to keep Tommi alive from the cancer she's fighting), his selfish refusal to simply close a fucking door... GAAH.
(A brief digression: Z has been associated with the SCA in NYC for about 15 years now; he's wanted to become a knight, although his fighting skills (to a small degree) and the trepidation of the other knights of the NYC group (to a much grater degree) have prevented this. (His SCA name is "(name) the Optimistic"- a stroke of cruel brilliance on someone's part.) Long story short, when I decided fuck it, I AM going to Pennsic this year, Z very generously lent me camping gear and garb... and then blithely assured me that no, camping with Ostgardr wouldn't be a problem at all. In a brief moment of foolish optimism, I took him at his word... only to see the tent master at Ostgardr's campsite literally facepalm as I told him this (Z the Optimistic, indeed). Happily, it worked out; by the end of my brief stay, the tent master had made a specific point of repeatedly inviting me both to join the SCA, and to camp with Ostgardr next year. In all honesty, I could almost certainly become a knight fairly quickly- quicker than Z, certainly- and while I don't quite want to pout salt in his wounds in such a fashion, he does make it tempting sometimes.)
I tend to detest pettiness and malice in others, and to try to avoid them in myself; Z's selfishly endangering B's cats in such a fashion is pushing the anger buttons with me much more than I am comfortable with. I've already written and deleted several versions of an email in which I point this out, along with the simple fact that leaving out apartment door open is simply NOT A GOOD IDEA. Beyond that... it's really hard, living with someone for whom I am coming to feel such feeling of contempt.
