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My first real memory of film school: Our teacher told us he was going to show a film of his. In the film, there were displayed a stool with a pumpkin on it, and a record player. Our teacher walked onscreen, wearing only a sweater; he started the record player, which started playing the “Third Man theme.” Every now and then, he would hop, demonstrating that he was, in fact, wearing ONLY a sweater. This was discomfiting enough; then, he walked offscreen, and returned carrying a chainsaw. Our teacher fired up the chainsaw, and bisected the pumpkin; at this, I successfully fought the urge to lean over to the person next to me and whisper, “Hey- you sure Stanley Kubrick started like this?”

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May 2026

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