SAD

[coyotegoth]

On and off since I was a teenager, I've had a problem with SAD- seasonal affective disorder. Essentially, this meets that during the winter, when I'm not getting enough sunlight, I react by becoming somewhat depressed- fairly standard stuff. I used to treat it with a lightbox, which simulates the wavelength of natural sunlight sufficiently to keep the symptoms at bay. For the last several years, the symptoms have been in remission of a sort; accordingly, when my lightbox broke, I didn't bother replacing it.

For whatever reason, it's been particularly rough since the turn of the year- not in any melodramatic way, but enough to noticeably affect my energy and my ability to get things done. I've been waking up at around three in the afternoon most days (obviously not the best thing, when one is dealing with a lack of sunshine); I've been to the gym exactly once since the turn of the year; my various writing projects are stagnant at the moment.

I don't like feeling this way, even a little; I detest the way my enthusiasm seems to be draining out of me. This isn't a critical-level depression, by any means; it's enough to remind me of darker times, though, and I hate that. Hate it. I'm going to get back on track with the exercise program- exercise always helps my moods (I wish the early mildness of this winter had continued; I'd simply go bike riding). I'm going to make myself spend time every day on my writing- even if I'm not producing copy, there's always research/backstory/plot noodling to be done. As I write this, I'm singing along with "Drift Away"; it seems to fit my voice fairly well (although I have to fight not to go flat on, or otherwise force, the higher notes), and the simple act of doing it seems to help my mood. (I'll always wish I had a better memory for lyrics.)

(And now, I'm listening to the Joan Armatrading album, inspired by a friend who does songs of hers at piano bar, with a general air of "How did I manage to miss this for so long? An amber honey voice, and smoky poetry, backed up by Glyn Johns' usual producing magic. A digression, perhaps, but this music deserves a digression or two.)

(Also, a Blue Velvet DVD came in the mail today, along with the Armatrading CD; it's been at least fifteen years since I've seen the film, and I'll be curious to see how I react to it now, having seen a bit more of life than I had the last time around.)

So, yeah; this is simply a case of, "I have to work a little harder then I generally enjoy, in order to be where I want to be." Not really a new concept, that.

Comments

[ex-prynne.livejournal.com]

Funny that you mention this, because I've often thought that I have SAD in REVERSE.

Is such a think possible, do you think?

Because I tend to feel my very best and most energetic when its darker and colder and I am out of constant direct sunlight.

Strange, that.

[lorifran57.livejournal.com]

Blue Velvet was freaky when it came out!!!

Gave me the heeby geebies!

HUGS

[feyandstrange.livejournal.com]

I find that full-spectrum bulbs help my mood, and they're a lot cheaper than a real lightbox.

Also, vitamin D is very important when you're not getting enough sunlight, and plays an important part in mood control.

Writing's good too. If I was less busy I'd toss you a plotbunny.

[artemitis.livejournal.com]

Funny! I expect to receive Blue Velvet in the mail from Netflix tomorrow. I've never seen it, so it should be interesting.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

It's certainly possible (I also know a great many people who dislike sunight, or even find it physically painful, come to that.) How are you?

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

It's still freaky :P

*HUG*

How are you?

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you- I'll pick up some vitamin D tomorrow. (Strange, small world: you were in a dream of mine last night. You and Kai were visiting, and we were in my old apartment in Astoria (haven't lived there in years), and I was giving you directions to LaGuardia.

*shrug*

(And I've been generating plotbunnies like a mad thing, too; there's a Harry/Batman crossover that refuses to leave me alone.)

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I'll be very curious to hear your thoughts on it.

[gandryyne.livejournal.com]

Oh SAD entirely sucks the living energy right out of you! I'm sorry to see that you're feeling it. :(

I know that lightboxes can get terribly expensive, however I do find that full spectrum bulbs help as well. The quality of light is much better to boot. You might want to check out http:///www.fullspectrumsolutions.com/ Also Verilux makes really nice FS bulbs.

[copperwise.livejournal.com]

*love and sunshine*

[missjanette.livejournal.com]

I second the full-spectrum bulb action. They're the only bulbs I buy now. I get them at whole foods for about $6 a pop. A little pricey for bulbs, but if nothing else they last a very long time & the light is less harsh than regular bulbs.

also, did we miss you or did you feel poopy the other day? also, do you have my cell number?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Re; the SAD, I gave a friend of mine one of those full-spectrum lightbulbs once. It was the first winter I saw him out of the house.

Funny you should mention Joan Armatrading - I was just telling my gf that I think she would really appreciate her music.

[lyras.livejournal.com]

Good luck - especially with the exercise thing. I have the same problem - I know exercise makes me feel better, but it's actually getting myself to exercise in the first place that's the challenge.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry; I called your home phone with a message, saying that I'd been booked for work. (Then again, as they woke me from a sound sleep, I may well have actually been talking to someone in Urzbekhistan; either way, I apologize for not being there. (This, needless to say, is why I've been on the late side when I come over; I'm working on that.)) I thought I had your cell number, but I couldn't find it, in my stumbling half-awakeness. Could you remail it, please?

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Thank you; I'll give that a looksee.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

That even made my icon smile! :P

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Also, *hug*, just because I haven't lately.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I'm definitely going to look into the bulb action. (And, yeah- love me some Armatrading goodness.)

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

I know, it's like an exercising Catch-22!