(no subject)

1) If I ever do write my memoirs, one chapter will be titled Yonkers: the Wilderness years hours. (Still, I had fun.)

2)In the latest iteration of the Shower Meme, queerbychoice gave me five questions:

1. What is your default icon from and why did you choose it to represent you? It's Brak, from the Space Ghost cartoons; it just seemed a good fit, despite not wearing a Stetson :)

2. Who was evening_rush and how did you know him or her? Faye was someone I met on LJ (through bloodcicle, IRRC); we never met, although I got to speak to her on the phone once; she was an incredibly warm and caring person, as well as having a genius-level intellect. She died of cancer about five and a half years ago.

3. If a monster truck rally were to be goth, what do you suppose it would be like? (This is from my user info, by the way.) Hmm- two people between the wheels of their respective (black) cars; instead of driving, the simply murmur, "You don't understand my pain!" at each other.

4. I figured out that Soren is baldanders, but how do you know him? We met at the piano bar which I began frequenting about six and a half years ago; he is the beloved of my friend roadnotes.

5. What are the main effects this election cycle has has on you? In "In the Spring of '27," F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, "...something bright and alien flashed across the sky. A young Minnesotan who seemed to have had nothing to do with his generation did a heroic thing, and for a moment people set down their glasses in country clubs and speakeasies and thought of their old best dreams. Maybe there was a way out by flying, maybe our restless blood could find frontiers in the inimitable air." In a way, that's the part of me that listening to Obama has reawakened: not so much a need to escape, but a memory of optimism, if that makes any sense. At any rate, I feel hopeful about this election, in a way I haven't for quite a while.

both entries via fimbrethil

From eleanor
Scraps is now at the Rusk Center for Rehabilitation, room 930, where I visited with him yesterday. He continues to make progress, although he’s off to a bit of a rough start.

Early yesterday, a blood clot was found in his leg, most likely the result of his leg’s near total immobility, and Scraps had a procedure to insert a filter in a vein in his neck, which will prevent the clot from traveling to his lungs. This left him in a considerable amount of pain. The Rusk rehabilitation team is very proactive, and on the same day he also had speech, occupational and physical therapy, which was exhausting for him.

Here’s the good news. He’s alert, and each day he has more words; today’s was “objective.” While I was there, the OT and PT got him to sit up in bed, and he can manipulate the up and down buttons on his bed, and pull himself into a sitting position on his own. He turned his television on, and after telling me that he wanted Showtime (I have no idea what he wanted to watch, in particular) and expressing dismay with basic cable, he settled on Comedy Central, which was showing Wayne’s World. He enjoyed the movie, laughed throughout, and had the attention span to watch the entire thing. He was also incredulous when he saw a fairly odd commercial for a cell phone, shrugged, and said “WHAT ever.” He continues to struggle with expressive aphasia but manages to communicate more each day. Rusk gave him a completely pureed meal ( one scoop each of meat, carrots and potatoes) which he would not eat, but Claire went out and found lentil soup and a pasta salad, both of which were hits. He became cross with me when I didn’t understand him, and be becomes distraught when he’s told that he’s making progress; from his perspective, he still feels trapped and helpless.

However, he is making progress.

And from Velma:
laundry; overdue library materials; food; Rusk.

Data point: Yes, the weekend visiting hours are 12:30-8:30, rather than the 2:30-8:30 on weekdays, but I'm reserving the 12:30-2:30 time on weekends for myself, to have some one-on-one time with Soren. I will probably do the same with at least one 6:30-8:30 evening, after I've talked with him about it to figure out the schedule. If you want to see him, and those are the best times for you, please email or call me, rather than just showing up; I'm not going to be hardass about it, but I want time with my beloved.

Right now, I'm feeling rather raw. Despite my writings here and elsewhere, Soren and I have been very much a duprass, and we've spent October as a very public couple, and the stress is getting to both of us.

I've learned that I react badly to people telling me "you gotta do this/read that/take these supplements/watch this video/etc.," and I react even more badly to people who then follow up with "didja do what I told you gotta do? why not?" Unfortunately, I've had enough of the latter that my anger has spilled out onto some of the people who, with the best of intentions, said the former while meaning something else entirely, and I'm trying to make amends for that.

If you really think I should do/read/take something, get it for me and to me. I have no spare time and energy to hunt down whatever it is that you think is important; I spent from seven to fifteen hours a day during October in the hospital with Soren, with several overnight stays; if it hadn't been for local friends, I would have collapsed from the strain of trying to deal with that schedule, as well as work, and home maintenance (and we won't even dwell on that too much, okay?). I'm now trying to get back to a more normal work schedule, as well as spending time with Soren, and conferring with his medical team.

And, with regard to the "didjas," please remember that, while stressed out, I am an adult, and Soren and I are the ones who make decisions about our life together. Not all of our choices have been, or will be, the best, but they are ours to make.
Mood:flattened